A Nano Failure

My Nano effort was once again a failure. For the second consecutive year, I’ve approached the project with vigor, and stepped away from it no longer than two weeks into it, frustrated. I was so pumped up about the whole thing back in October – I even worked out storylines and characters ahead of time this year. But it all came to an end, puttering out like a car out of gas, when we moved into this new apartment. I know. Last year I used the moving excuse too. And I actually believe that moving has a lot to do with my failing to complete the 50,000 words.

But what if I’m just hiding behind that excuse? What if I cannot write that many words in a month? What if I don’t have it in me to be the writer that I believe I can be? What if I’m just incapable of setting a goal and completing it? That last one may very well be the key to this whole thing. If you remember – I have problems with following through. There’s always an unwashed dish left in my sink. There’s always *one* last piece of laundry that needs to be washed, even though I just finished doing five loads. When I was in school, I would leave one or two math problems undone – just so that I could cram to finish them before class.

And then there’s the obvious: I’ve spent so many years in college, not getting anywhere. Not finishing anything.

So I’m afraid nanowrimo may be *another* in the long line of things that I simply cannot finish. Will not. I’m convinced I can change. I believe I’ll grow out of this. Maybe next year’s nano will be the one. But in any event, holidailies is my stab at pumping up the self-esteem. It’s smaller than nano, and even though daily updates are a huge commitment for me, I think I can do it. I did okay last year. But I did fluff up the month with some crappy updates, just for the sake of updating. The goal this year is to update every day, with actual things to say.

Speaking of things to say – Only seven more work days till I say goodbye to this job of mine!

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