Angels & Demons

July 31st, 2005

So here’s my spoiler warning. I am totally going to tell you what happens in Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons. If you plan on reading this book, which I urge you not to do, because all you ever needed to know about this book is right here, aside from the quotes that had to do with alien testicle harvesting, but if you do plan on reading this book, even after seeing my warning, you should stop reading this entry now.

I have to admit that the only reason I finished this book was so that I could add another one to my tally. I’m famous for abandoning books midway. The Hobbit, the Shipping News, Digital Fortress (which, I have to say, what I’ve read of it I’ve enjoyed ten times more than this A&D crap) and the Binding Chair are all in various stages of unfinished. Lucky for me I have goals this year.

Anyhow, back to today’s book. Maybe my mistake was that I enjoyed the Da Vinci Code and expected to enjoy this one just as much. And I’m not saying it wasn’t lacking in entertainment value, because it was rather entertaining. And preachy in a drawn out sort of way. I mean, how many times are you going to give the science vs religion speech? Gurgle gurgle.

You know how they say that when you go in for a job interview, the interviewer makes his mind up in 30 seconds (or something) and then spends the rest of the interview attempting to harvest supporting evidence to make him more comfortble with that decision? I decided that this book was way too reminiscent of tdvc when our heroine’s father is axed and Langdon is called in to assist in the investigation. Pile on the Catholic church and the mysterious secret society and you have yourself a tdvc rough draft.

I am happy to say that the story did take off on its own path. The whole thing revolves around Langdon figuring out a treasure map before the sand in the timer runs out. The repetition of chasing down four cardinals in their secret locations at designated times is tiring. Of course, each location was different and Langdon had to do all sorts of thinking to arrive at them, but after hunting down the first one, and knowing that there were three more to find, I wondered how much more exciting it could get. It wasn’t THAT bad, but I would have rather a less symmetrical plot.

I didn’t take notes while reading, so there isn’t a lot I can comment on. But there is the end. What is there to say about this ending? The camerlengo, who we thought was good, but turns out (predictably) to be off his rocker, runs around the maze that is underground in vatican city, because all of a sudden(!) he knows where the antimatter is! Smart guy. Pulls the knowledge out of his butt just in the nick of time. And then what happens? After being branded (when I say branded, I mean with a hot metal thing, sizzling skin and all) by the “bad guy” he somehow manages to hijack a helicopter, take both the antimatter and Langdon up with him, and land on the ground after the antimatter explodes on the helicopter.

And Langdon – what happens to him? HE IS FOUND IN A RIVER. ALIVE. The guy jumped out of the helicopter without a parachute, clinging to some little piece of tarp, and somehow lives. And then you know what he does the very next day, after he’s been running all over Vatican city and has not slept in like over 24 hours? He has sex with the girl. Of course he does. He’s spent this entire day crimefighting with this girl. Her father was just killed and branded with an illuminati brand, and what does she want to do? HAVE SEX WITH ROBERT LANGDON.

I am not making this up. Blame this mess on Dan Brown.